Outnumbered

Mommy's MIA on a Friday afternoon...only in Costco

I went to work early so I could get home early so I could shop early so I wouldn't be home too late.

I didn't leave work quite on time as planned, so I decided to make a "one stop shop" at Costco. 
I love Costco. I love the man who greets me and hands me coupons, only after flashing my shiny black executive card.  I love the tall shelving, filled with wonderful merchandise for me to browse. I love the smell of the hot dogs & fries.  I love the man who is rambling on about something I can't really understand, and I love him even more because he's offering me free turkey sausage samples.  
I love the feel of the concrete floor under my feet and the way the cart just rolls freely over it.
I love that there is everything and anything I could ever imagine shopping for in one place
Errrrrr. Stop the presses - everything except wine that is. Dammit. 
Well they sell almost everything. They even sell organic goods, I love that too.  (I must include this disclosure since I'm all about being honest - I don't like the non-local produce, but I keep away from that part if I can...)

With no children in tow, I find myself wandering up and down each aisle.  I find things that are on sale and that gives me more ammunition to keep shopping. The deals! The deals are amazing!  I find myself craving more.  My cart becomes heavier and heavier.

Suddenly it hits me - WHAT was it that I came here for? 

Oh Em Gee.   (Thanks for that line Sarah)

What did I come here for? I look down at my cart, filled with organic chicken broth, kids books, new skirt, yoga pants, hot pink tank for spin class, polo shirts for the hubby...snack foods, appetizers for a get-together we're having at our house this weekend, some milk, sunscreen...the list goes on. 

Does anyone else do this? I just become overwhelmed with the excitement of shopping alone! The other problem with Costco is - if you don't buy it right then, you're risking the fact that it may be GONE forever once you come back.  Speaking from experience here. Gone forever!!!

I decide to call home for the list....whewww.
Organic baby carrots, peanut butter, nutella, facewash, vitamins, Premium plus crackers, milk etc (That's just GREAT, I got one thing on the list) 

A few hundred dollas and 1 hour and 15 minutes later I left Costco.

Now I have to admit what the most...um....errrr...interesting purchase of the day was......

 

...wait for it....

 

....Wait for it......

 

A jewelry tree.

 

Yes, I spent $22.79 on a JEWELRY TREE.   It was a good idea at the time....check this baby out.   This is what happens when a shopping deprived mother is set loose in Costco.

If you think it might look like an okaaaayyyyy purchase from the box with their lovely earth tone jewelry  hung with care,  you should see it NOW draped with my costume exquisite jewelry.  HID-E-OUS! 

Really? UGH. Who buys this stuff? (I hope I'm not the only one!)

So if you think you've got issues, or want a good hearty laugh...just think of me.

 

Me and my jewelry tree.

 

: )   Keri

How to survive shopping on the Saturday before Easter

Someone informed me today that the Saturday before Easter is busier than shopping just before Christmas.  It makes sense to me when I think about it.  We spend MONTHS preparing for Christmas whereas Easter doesn't get as much marketing and planning attention. 

Then, dammit, before you know it; it's Easter weekend and your days are suddenly filled with organizing family dinners, eating ham, turkey and so on.  And....if you're anything like me.....you thought you were on the ball and got about 60% of your Easter bunny shopping done during the week, but alas Saturday comes much too quickly and you realize there are important things to buy! Aghhhhh!

I decided (of all places) to go to WAL-MART this morning.  I figured it was a one stop shop so I would be good to go.  And for those who know me will not be surprised it was not my only stop -- the sales of Canadian Tire lured me in ... My willpower couldn't muster up any fight against my yearning to wander aimlessly around the gardening department on such a beautiful sunshiney day. 

As I sat in traffic, this is what I thought of.

How to survive shopping on the Saturday before Easter

1)  Leave the children at home (this is absolutely the most important - if you do nothing else, do this)

2)  Try really really hard to pay attention to the road.  Don't follow too closely, and stop at red lights. No texting and driving please.  (This becomes self-explanatory in rule #3)

3) Pull to the RIGHT of the road when the fire truck, ambulance and police are trying to get through to the idiot who rear-ended someone (outside the liquor store no less!)  Emergency vehicles take precedent, I don't care how important you think your Easter shopping is.

3)  Bring your favourite CD's (or if you're not a total loser like me you might have Sirius radio or some fancy Apple device) with you.  Traffic may keep you in the car for quite some time. You might as well create some ambience.  Enya anyone?  Or, you can act like you're a reckless coolio teenager and blast Estelle & Kanye, Jay-Z & Beyonce.  Oh yeah, I got checked out, I swear.  hahahaha. Till they saw the 3 carseats in the back that is.

4)  Don't expect miracles.  Really, did you THINK that all the GOOD Easter stuff would still be there on the Saturday before Easter?  Sorry about your luck folks, you're gettin' the no name chocolate today.  Lindt is  gonna be sold out!!!!

5) Smile at people.  Even when they almost ram their cart over your new and hot little silver flats, keep smiling. It's infectious and people will really wonder what you're up to. 

6) Be patient.  Be nice to the Wal-mart cashier who hates her life more than you do in that very moment.

7) When people are trying to get out of the parking lot where you've been waiting for 15 minutes, let someone in.  It's been 15 minutes for goodness sakes, is 15 minutes and 10 seconds reallllly going to make a difference? If you're nice to someone, it will get passed on. Remember: karma can be kind, or it can be a real bitch if you are.

8) I was going for top 10, but I'm stopping at 8. 
For all your hard work, be sure to buy yourself something.  NO, toilet bowl cleaner does NOT count.  Remember, Wal-mart has a Wine Store strategically located at the exit for your shopping pleasure.  We all deserve a reward for our hard work.   Don't forget to treat yourself too.
(I got myself a new Kitchen Aid cast iron dutch oven, 70% off to boot!!)

HAPPY EASTER!