Outnumbered

Pet peeeeeeves.

I'm feeling somewhat feisty/cynical/cranky/tired today and I started to think about my pet peeves.

Then I started to think that it might make an interesting post. 

You may beg to differ and find my peeves to be perfectly acceptable. 
You also may beg to differ and find that this is not an interesting post. 
But lucky for me, this is my post & I am running with it!  Freedom of speech!  Yeah!

Here is my list:

- the term "Oh Snap".  Yeah I would get it if you were using snap instead of a swear, ie: unlike me who would prefer to say Oh Shit.   Oh snap is like a discovery, a revelation, something brilliant. Oh Snap? I hate it! Dis-like.

- people who "share" their facebook profiles. For example JaneJohn Doe.  Really? Are you that insecure or computer illiterate?  Did you and do you really have ALL the same friends? It's got to be impossible!

- people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle of the grocery store. Really? Do you think you're the only person in the store? Move OVAAA!!

- people whose pet peeve is the whole "cell phone in public places" business. You know what? My time is precious and while I'm grocery shopping I am perfectly capable of shopping and talking.  Furthemore, it may be my only opportunity to have a conversation uninterrupted by the need to referee a fight or by someone else screaming and/or crying.

- Calling my phone/internet/satellite company. 
That's a long story, but I despise it.  It makes my blood pressure rise just thinking about it. Unfortunately all my services are from the same provider.  I won't name names but it's rhymes with SMELL. Funny because I think they smell. Stink. Ew!

- On that note, I'm peeved at myself for not changing companies.

- People who don't signal when they drive.  Did you know you should signal, then break, then turn? Is it that difficult, push the stick down or flip it up. Magical!

- People who bring their sick kids to my house, to playdates, to the bookstore, to the toy store. Ew ew, stay at home!

- PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs.
I don't get it. It's annoying to read, and really looks like it takes far too much time.

- People who don't want to have kids because it will ruin their body.  Um, yeah not naming names.

- People saying "I seen".  For example,
 "I seen that movie" instead of "I have seen that movie" or "I did see that movie" or "I saw that movie".   I ain't got nothin' else to say 'bout that one!

I think that's it - for now anyway.  What are YOUR pet peeves, what drives you crazy?

I feel like that was great therapy.  Whew! Thanks for reading. 

PS - Janine, you will not like this post. I must admit that Janine, unlike me, knows that patience is a virtue and has much more of it than I do.
For a feel good post, go see her at Spoonful of Sugar

: )  Keri

Happy Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to you!

I was at a conference last week and there was one man who presented to a sea of women.  He was a dynamic speaker & I really enjoyed his talk.  He was also wise enough to start his discussion by saying Happy Mother's Day to the ocean of women whose undivided attention he had.  He mentioned that he had heard on the radio that moms don't reallllly want breakfast in bed. Well, that captured everyone's interest. 
Why?
Well, they'd just have to clean up all the crumbs and mess in the end anyway.

How true!

So what do women really want on Mother's Day?  What do YOU want for Mother's Day?

A little bit of 'alone' time was the consensus.

I agree.

My hubby and I actually decided last year, that with our lacking (errrr non-existent) time for ourselves -- it would be best if on Mother's Day & Father's Day we had a little time to do whatever we wanted.  The only stipulation: It had to be "Me" time.   I think Brian created this plan so he could go golfing on Father's Day guilt-free (haha) but I was sold on the idea.

Other than time alone, what do you want for Mother's Day?

The only additional thing I would like might be a little recognition for all mothers around the world.

I realize that some people might think that this ONE day is recognition enough....but I think it would be nice for all of the invisible tasks that moms do to be visible, even for a short while.

Invisible.  Invisible: Simultaneously carrying out tasks without so much as blinking an eye.  Invisible: Not noticed, not seen, not obvious.

Waking the kids up, while collecting laundry, while applying mascara, while planning what to discuss at this morning's meeting.

Grocery shopping, while spending quality time with the kids, while planning meals for the week, while not being able to control her urge to kiss her child's fat little cheek in the middle of the grocery store produce aisle.

Cooking dinner for tonight, while planning dinners to freeze for later, while helping a child with homework.  She may even squeeze in a facebook comment if she's lucky.

Signing permission forms, writing cheques, planning schedules, while asking her boss for another day off, for she can't possible miss being a chaperone on a child's school field trip.

Making time for friends, date nights with hubby, quality time for each child, and phone calls to family.

Writing thank-you cards, while pondering beautiful home decor plans, while deciding on & implementing the best possible storage for the mountain of toys that surrounds her.

Seamlessly...she seems to be able to fulfill an assortment of tasks. Seamlessly, she thinks that she's at her limit, but yet she finds one more thing to add onto her list of life responsibilities.  Seamless, with no complaint.

The invisible work of mothering. 

I think it's important acknowledge the invisible work of women, particularly that of mothers.

Enjoy your day mommies of the world.  Today is your day. 

May today unveil all of the invisible things you do.  

But don't fret - because even if the light doesn't reveal the entire truth of your work -  remember there is no one, not one person who can do your job of mothering the way that you do.

I hope my Mothering friends get to have an afternoon of relaxation as I am so blessed to be having - thanks to my husband, who has kindly delved into my world of invisible work and offered to not only help me, but relieve me of my duties.

Happy Mother's Day. 
I hope you get lots of love & hug & kisses from your children and your mate!
Enjoy your day.

Here is a beautiful poem I found by Alison Luterman...I hope you like it as much as I do.

Because no one could ever praise me enough,

because I don't mean these poems only

but the unseen

unbelievable effort it takes to live

the life that goes on between them,

I think all the time about invisible work.

About the young mother on Welfare

I interviewed years ago,

who said, "It's hard.

You bring him to the park,

run rings around yourself keeping him safe,

cut hot dogs into bite-sized pieces for dinner,

and there's no one

to say what a good job you're doing,

how you were patient and loving

for the thousandth time even though you had a

headache."

And I, who am used to feeling sorry for myself

because I am lonely,

when all the while,

as the Chippewa poem says, I am being carried

by great winds across the sky,

thought of the invisible work that stitches up the

world day and night,

the slow, unglamorous work of healing,

the way worms in the garden

tunnel ceaselessly so the earth can breathe

and bees ransack this world into being,

while owls and poets stalk shadows,

our loneliest labors under the moon.

There are mothers

for everything, and the sea

is a mother too,

whispering and whispering to us

long after we have stopped listening.

I stopped and let myself lean

a moment, against the blue

shoulder of the air. The work

of my heart

is the work of the world's heart.

There is no other art.

- Alison Luterman

How to survive shopping on the Saturday before Easter

Someone informed me today that the Saturday before Easter is busier than shopping just before Christmas.  It makes sense to me when I think about it.  We spend MONTHS preparing for Christmas whereas Easter doesn't get as much marketing and planning attention. 

Then, dammit, before you know it; it's Easter weekend and your days are suddenly filled with organizing family dinners, eating ham, turkey and so on.  And....if you're anything like me.....you thought you were on the ball and got about 60% of your Easter bunny shopping done during the week, but alas Saturday comes much too quickly and you realize there are important things to buy! Aghhhhh!

I decided (of all places) to go to WAL-MART this morning.  I figured it was a one stop shop so I would be good to go.  And for those who know me will not be surprised it was not my only stop -- the sales of Canadian Tire lured me in ... My willpower couldn't muster up any fight against my yearning to wander aimlessly around the gardening department on such a beautiful sunshiney day. 

As I sat in traffic, this is what I thought of.

How to survive shopping on the Saturday before Easter

1)  Leave the children at home (this is absolutely the most important - if you do nothing else, do this)

2)  Try really really hard to pay attention to the road.  Don't follow too closely, and stop at red lights. No texting and driving please.  (This becomes self-explanatory in rule #3)

3) Pull to the RIGHT of the road when the fire truck, ambulance and police are trying to get through to the idiot who rear-ended someone (outside the liquor store no less!)  Emergency vehicles take precedent, I don't care how important you think your Easter shopping is.

3)  Bring your favourite CD's (or if you're not a total loser like me you might have Sirius radio or some fancy Apple device) with you.  Traffic may keep you in the car for quite some time. You might as well create some ambience.  Enya anyone?  Or, you can act like you're a reckless coolio teenager and blast Estelle & Kanye, Jay-Z & Beyonce.  Oh yeah, I got checked out, I swear.  hahahaha. Till they saw the 3 carseats in the back that is.

4)  Don't expect miracles.  Really, did you THINK that all the GOOD Easter stuff would still be there on the Saturday before Easter?  Sorry about your luck folks, you're gettin' the no name chocolate today.  Lindt is  gonna be sold out!!!!

5) Smile at people.  Even when they almost ram their cart over your new and hot little silver flats, keep smiling. It's infectious and people will really wonder what you're up to. 

6) Be patient.  Be nice to the Wal-mart cashier who hates her life more than you do in that very moment.

7) When people are trying to get out of the parking lot where you've been waiting for 15 minutes, let someone in.  It's been 15 minutes for goodness sakes, is 15 minutes and 10 seconds reallllly going to make a difference? If you're nice to someone, it will get passed on. Remember: karma can be kind, or it can be a real bitch if you are.

8) I was going for top 10, but I'm stopping at 8. 
For all your hard work, be sure to buy yourself something.  NO, toilet bowl cleaner does NOT count.  Remember, Wal-mart has a Wine Store strategically located at the exit for your shopping pleasure.  We all deserve a reward for our hard work.   Don't forget to treat yourself too.
(I got myself a new Kitchen Aid cast iron dutch oven, 70% off to boot!!)

HAPPY EASTER!

 

Brian concurs

Check out this vid for a good laugh!! 

 

 

 

Free therapy

Oooohh I was so excited to get to the computer tonight & start writing.
Busy busy day, I had the day off work to study for my lactation consultant exam.
Yes, yes I am a sucker for punishment and I also really enjoy the world of breastfeeding!

My dear friend Sarah came over this past weekend for a visit - I love chatting with her because she has a lot of mommy wisdom to share.  We met over facebook. I know - sounds creepy but we knew ALL the same peeps from highschool but never were friends.  She added me as a friend, I creeped her for about a month & then thought she was worthy of being my internet friend.  (haha)
Sometimes I think she'd be the ultimate mommy blogger 'cause she always seems to look so damn good, and she's always so put together. And calm. Really calm. And she always looks so damn good, how is it possible? She could probably write a book on it, it's impressive.

Anyway, we chat lots, mostly about raising boys (she has 2 so far) and just generally how to get through the day.    Just a few topics of conversation this weekend - Time Outs and Midnight Divorces.

As soon as I opened the door, her oldest was a bit clingy to momma and didn't want his her to go and get the baby out of the car.  She said "Ben, do you want to go in the dining room?"  I didn't think much of it since my dining room is adjacent to our front door.

Fast forward a coffee and gingersnaps later (yes I baked for Queen Sarah's arrival - she totally deserves it!) and we were talking time outs for the 2 and 3 year olds.  Sarah wondered why I had a stroller in my living room (the formal living room that is supposed to be kidless but has a table top hockey game and 3 baskets of toys in it).   

I told her the stroller is for time-outs.

When Owen deliberately pokes his brother in the eye, or pulls his hair he must go on time out & the umbrella stroller is the perfect spot.   Sarah proceeds to tell me her time out is the dining room! How perfect! Bennn...do you want to go to the dining room?  It all makes sense to me now.  It seems a little more gentle than the stroller idea. Perhaps I will try it?  Unfortunately I think Owen might need to be strapped into a seat...but perhaps it's worth a shot.

Next mommy conversation (besides me asking how she makes her hair look so good) was about the arguments between husband and wife in the middle of the night, during extreme sleep deprivation. 

Um, yeah...I hate, I'm talkin' DESPISE my husband in the middle of the night. 
Our children don't sleep, and we're totally exhausted. Thennnnnnnn we say nasty things to each other.
I lay in bed and think, tomorrow I'm going to tell him what a JERK he really is!! 
Oh WAIT, 7am rolls around, we're all good.

Sarah was so relieved to hear they weren't the only couple getting "midnight divorces".  Ha! Who knew!  I was a little relieved to hear we're not the only dysfunctional ones too.

So this post is dedicated to Queen Sarah...'cause besides writing this blog, she's the best free therapy a girl could ask for....

Labels: Sarah, therapy, midnight divorces