Outnumbered

It takes a village to raise a child....Part Two

Hi my friends,

I am the official blogging slacker. It's okay, I can take it. Life's been a bit hectic these days...um, isn't it always!?!

To very quickly bring you up to speed: I have officially applied and been accepted into two Masters Programs. (MSc in Nursing to be exact)  I still have not decided either way on my decision.  I actually have to discuss my research thesis plans with potential supervisors and choose the supervisor who I feel is the best fit for my plans. 

Does that not weird anyone else out? I have to "interview" people who have their PhD in Nursing? Imagine that. 

Furthermore, I am writing my International Board Certified Lactation Consultant Exam on Monday. It's the same date, same exam, all around the world.    It has been something that my path as a nurse has naturally made me gravitate towards. I always have loved perinatal, neonatal and pediatric nursing. Breastfeeding education and experience fit right in - particularly after having my 3 babies and BFing them all. 

To write the exam, as a nurse you must have a minimum of 1000 hours clinically directly related to BFing, and at least 45 hours of formal education. Whew...check, check.

I've been studying with 2 other nurses for the exam so it's been great to have the support (and someone to whine too) but it's been busy busy busy.  Yes, I probably should be studying right now, but I need a break.  I took vacation days to study, how sad it that?!

Now, I have thought about what I would like to do with this LC certification (Lord help me to pass the exam). The results are posted until October. Patience is a virtue, no?. 
I thought about having a private practice and doing lactation consultant work on the side to help new moms. 

Recently at an education seminar for Nurse Practitioners, an LC presented some great information and talked about how she "under-charges" her clients and she knows it.

I thought - hey lady! Didn't you read the text books? It says NOT to apologize for your fees as an LC. You're a professional and you work hard to keep current in this professional.  Duhhhhhh!!!!! 

Then, I realized....as I thought about it more...the people who are commonly seeking PAID professional  breastfeeding now are the well-educated, higher socio-economic status type of folks. 
They are more likely people who understand the importance of colostrum, not supplementing with formula, the benefits of breastfeeding and the risks of formula feeding.  They've likely had prenatal education.

And these people are probably the ones who can actually afford a private LC consult.   The people who truly NEED the  private, in-home consults may not be able to, because of the cost involved.

There are a few things I see as wrong here:

1) There needs to be LC's available in all healthcare environments, which is not the case everywhere.  The literature says there should be 5 FT LC's in a hospital with 3000 births.

2)  There needs to be public LC practices that are government funded so people can bring their babies in. 
Public Health has a great program where I live - but there is a greater need than they can cover, in my opinion. What about acute care, family health teams, midwifery practices? What about home visits?

3) The privatization of LC's is not really jiving with our healthcare system beliefs in Canada.  If we want Accessible Health Care for all, Lactation consultants need to be part of the healthcare team - EVERYWHERE.  Just like nurses, doctors, nurse-practitioners, midwives, technologists...

Breastfeeding is evidence-based best practice -- and our healthcare system needs appropriate supports (and FUNDING) to provide help with breastfeeding. 'Cause believe me, from my own experience, education and studying - it ain't always easy.

Without the recognition of breastfeeding supports being truly necessary across the board, it will become a 2 tiered system: the rich people get more help because they can pay for it, and the poor people don't.

This brings me to the point of taking a village to raise a child -- and one retired nurse (also an LC) who I talked to agreed with me.

She said she helps moms at no cost. She's a grandmother to all in her community.  Mind you, she does have a nice pension to supplement her income, but she does this work  to help.  She is part of the village that is raising her community's children.  

She will see that a client has a garden - and are not well-to-do.  She will say, can I have a few squash from your garden instead of paying me cash?  Can your husband change my oil, instead of having to use your baby bonus (Child Tax Benefit) money ?

I realize...as I ponder the philosphocial aspects of my future endeavours - that it will be some time that I would be able to offer free services to my community. 
But you can bet I will keep in mind these difficulties and ethical issues that are involved in starting a private practice - if I ever do so.  I've even thought about a sliding scale type of payment that could be arranged if people ever do request my assistance.

I truly do believe it takes a village to raise a child  (You can read my first blog post on this by clicking here) -- and I think reaching out to a new mom or family is one of the best things another mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, friend can do. 

You don't have to be an LC to do that...if you see a mom struggling with her bag of groceries, offer to help, if you see a mom at her wits' end at the mall, let her know you've been there too. Suggest playgroups to a new mom or family - or even better, have them over for a tea! 
Raising kids isn't easy. We all have our areas of expertise - professional or not.  Small, random acts of kindness can make a difference.

Don't forget to offer what you can to a new mom & baby. 

And I hope you don't forget this Momma's favourite saying:

 

So many things to write, so little time

Ughhhhh, did anyone think I fell of the face of the Earth?
Errrrr....or perhaps I'm being a little narcissistic in thinking anyone noticed. : )

Well, for the first week or so I didn't really notice either, but then I started to really ponder and philosophize about life like I used to do...oh sweet philosophy.

Life has been so busy (who isn't these days!) so blogging has taken a back burner.

I've been working lots as always, coaching soccer, taking vacation days, cottaging, rendezvous-ing at wineries with my hubby...life has been good.  (I will be sharing the deets about our one night vacay with NO kids soon)

We all went through a tough time when Jackson's Nanny (my ex's mom) passed away from cancer.  It hit me hard. I knew it would happen but it was tough.  Life is so precious...and to see someone I love suffer, and pass away,  not able to do a damn thing about it was so hard.

I see illness, suffering, life and death as a nurse....but part of me wanted to make it better.  Part of me denied it was going to get worse.  Jackson did well...he still talks about her sometimes & misses her, but he's doing well. It's amazing how kids bounce back. I'm sure he'll have his days, as will we all, but he's holding up well with all things considered.

When she was really sick I spent a few days organizing home care visits, calling doctors, community care, figuring out medications, getting doctor's orders....it's all a blur. I am sure I went into NURSE mode, instead of daughter-in-law (ex-daughter-in-law) mode to get the job done.

It's so crazy, to think of all the things you would want to say to a person, or ask a person after they're gone.  Sometimes it's tupid things, like - can I have your Spanish rice recipe?

On a day last week when I felt a little ignored, and upset, I cried.  I cried. I cried because there was somewhere, with her, that I felt like I belonged.  It was easy, with no pretense. There were no games played, it was real and it was honest.  It was what it was.  There was no need to guess, or try to read between the lines.  Friendship like that is priceless. 

Selfishly, that's what I'll miss. That sense of belonging.  That sense that no matter what, we'd always be friends because I knew my son was #1 in her life. Perhaps she only put up with me at times because of her love for my son...but that didn't matter to me, and still doesn't, because she was a true friend in my eyes.

Wow...so the words have just flowed.  A little deep for my first post back online.  I had no idea where it was going.   I guess I needed that.  To vent...to cry...to remember and smile.

So, as I move on with my life (and as I said in her eulogy), I am vowing to live like this. Simply. Easily. Kindly. With joy. With fun. With a little bit of feisty in there too.  Say what you want to say, ask what you want to ask. Dance like no one is watching.

We will always remember why ALL 3 of our kids love Jeff Gordon. We'll always remember how important it is to cheer on the kids at their sports events.  We'll always remember that life's too short.

Live, love and laugh for the moment. 

That's what I'll do to honour her memory.
And I hope I can create and pass that kind and easy sense of belonging and friendship to my kids, and other wonderful people in my life!!

Lots of love,

Keri : )